i got ditched for the second time in life. my boyfriend accused me that i forced him to take this decision. though there was absolutely no emotional compatibility between us i still loved him. i had suffered from depression&underwent psychiatric treatment&nearly escaped death when i tried to commit suicide after my first boyfriend ditched me. he insulted me so much that i felt i was so useless. my second boyfriend never gave me any support. for him love is more of a physical kind (sex)even though for me love is more of understanding . i had always wanted someone to whom i could open up my thoughts&mind.someone who would actually listen to me when i feel down. my parents r very good parents .they have never forced me to do anything which i didn't like but i always felt that they love my sister more. and i can't confide in them becoz they will get hurt that i'm hurting inside. i have lot of so called friends but none of them can help me becoz the minute i try confiding they start off advicing me.also they never got along with my boyfriend.i can't bear it if anyone says anything against him becoz i know though he hasn't supported me mentally he still loves me in his own way .more than that they start pouring out their problems. i feel worthless,useless.i feel lost&very very lonely. even if i wish to i can't commit suicide becoz i made a promise to my parents that i'll not do it again&hurt them..also i love them too much to hurt them again. without any hesitation i can still say that my b.f. still loves me .only problem is that he doesn't know how to support me emotionally. well in short i'm fed up of life. i feel everything is fake..love,relationships,friends everything is fake..ihave never known happiness in my life except for the time i spent with my first boyfriend. now i don't care for happiness much .. all i want is peace.. &i desperately pray every minute that i should get into some accident&die ..maybe i'll find peace that way..i have absolutely no confidence left.

i'm here

you want peace, you're in a storm. . The storm is what you know. Suicide is not the way. Your 2nd bf never gives you support, look for support within yourself. Forget your 2nd bf. If he does not support you, forget him. You have to know that it's real. Weather the storm. You'll do fine. You're strong.

Dear *LonelyGirl*
Thank you for your post here on Mind-brain.com.

I am sorry to read about your sad situation...
It is hard to give you a proper advice...(BUT believe me,I know how cruel and hard life can be)
Well,first of all;you are NOT worthless,ok?You are NOT useless!

Please,dont even think about such things as suicide.You are way too precious to end your life by free will.

Please,feel free to IM/E-mail me anytime,ok?
I am here and I listen.

~Greetings

Silke Lance

It sounds pretty fatalistic, but honey, the only person you should rely on is yourself. Other people come and go, but YOU are constant. You will survive, not only that, you will thrive. But the only person who can get you there is you. You are the most important thing in your life, remember that.

thank u all for the responses. it's such a relief to get it all out of my heart -all these days i was suffering so much -crying inside but pretending to be normal outside-as i didn't have anyone to confide in. now i feel better since i got it out of my system. thank god for such website where u can ask for personal advice. maybe i would have gone crazy if i hadn't shared my problem with someone. yeah u r all right i have noone to rely on but myself. but the problem in this is that i have neither confidence nor strength. infact i hate myself so much at times. i feel i can never make anyone happy, feel guilty that i have hur tmy parents. i find it difficult to move on &instead cling on to my past. i'm trying to move on but .it's really difficult.

hi
lonelygirl
i can tell you the real fact of life. No one's goin to comfort you.you'll have to come out from it. Only you can control yourself.Just for a moment think the lifecycle death and birth,you'll see nothin is there.everyone's selfish here.no one cares for anyone.just think it and go out with a smile. nothin is there to win or to lose.take care.bye.
Johnhy

Hi Johnhy2004,
Thank u so much! Whatever u have said is absolutely true! I have realised it by now.. And yes it has helped me not to be gloomy. Things r doing well now. I'm back with my boyfriend. We have sorted out our differences. I have learnt to try see the best in /of everything! Thanks again Friend!
lonelygirl

hi lonelygirl
happy to learn that.take care and enjoy the life dont waste it
johnhy

I love you lonelygirl

Hi Unknown,
Thank u !
lonelygirl